Go in Peace; Return in Peace

My dad died. I received word late Friday night. It was expected. It was sudden. Just the sunday before, I thought he might live a few more months. I was no longer listening for the phone call. He died peacefully in his sleep, without drama and trauma.

My habitual pattern would have been to stay in class, fly home on Sunday as planned, fly out to Seattle on Wednesday or Thursday, attend the services, and fly home on Saturday. I fell asleep with that plan, continued it into the wee hours and got up knowing I was on my way to Seattle that day. My friends helped me book flights. I can only attribute this change in pattern to being open to why I love my life so much.

I stopped at my homeopathy class and waited for my teacher and mentor, Vega Rozenberg. He held me as I cried, and blessed me to go in peace and to return in peace. His words reverberated in my mind at the most emotional of times and gave me comfort. They still act as my rudder.

My homeopathy class is also my personal growth laboratory. Because of these studies I had already made peace with my dad. Before these studies I was a dutiful daughter, which was already far from the resentful daughter I once was. As a result of class I was a loving daughter.

I remember one class we were asked if we had become who we were because of our parents or through our own efforts. I said it was by my own efforts. I was wrong.
I realized my error a few months later and wrote a letter to Vega telling him so. The events of the past week have shown me that I still lacked clarity. The truth is that I not only became who I am because of my parents, but that I stand on the shoulders on my parents. I am not alone in this world and never have been. It was my illusion.

I have put on a new pair of glasses. The assumptions that protected my self isolation no longer work. What will life look like as I move ahead? Why do I love my life so much is taking on a fresher and warmer hue.