One, not two
When last I wrote, I was jazzed to lose weight. It is a S.M.A.R.T. goal. Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timed. And it stopped me cold in the sense that as soon as I start focusing my energy on this specific goal, I lost focus on my "Why I love my Life so much" project.
The mental debate is intense. On one hand, I have oodles of info on how to accomplish weight loss, identified my "whys", and know I have accomplished what I really wanted in the past. The reality is my self critical aspect rules in that I "should" be doing something else or doing better. I am future focused instead living in the moment. I am divided between this goal and others, like making money.
On the other hand, God is One. I have been reweaving my life into a unitary fabric that has variations in color and pattern. ASking my question feels like I am on a perpetual easter egg hunt, vigilent for the trail of energy towards my next joyous discovery wherein I rejoice in wonder and awe. I feel I have fallen yet again for the hype of the marketplace that tells me what is good for me and convinces me I want something that will later be taken for granted. I am chasing the carrot dangling from the stick that is always just a little out of my reach.
Somewhere in here, it seems that I "should" be able to do both, stay in the joy of the moment and reach towards S.M.A.R.T. goals. Right now, it is one or the other. In one sense, using why I love my life so much as a theme allows my day to day discoveries to arise anywhere in my life while I am still holding my end result of loving my life as the guiding goal or intent, but the script is short on pre-conceived notions and prescribed behavior.
I still think I would prefer being more trim and fit. I'm open to inspired action arising in this arena. I think I will focus my attention on the miracle of my body and life when I exercise instead of the shape I am hoping for. I may well land in the same place as if I persued that goal in particular. For now I am back to my focus of why I love my life so much hoping that I am not selling out my goal to stay in a comfort zone.
If I were scoring, I would need to count my joy at the end of each day. If I stay present and vigilent to the energies about me in the moment my question gets a point. If I feel I wasted the day and have nothing to show for it in aliveness, then maybe I should go back to SMART goals.
The mental debate is intense. On one hand, I have oodles of info on how to accomplish weight loss, identified my "whys", and know I have accomplished what I really wanted in the past. The reality is my self critical aspect rules in that I "should" be doing something else or doing better. I am future focused instead living in the moment. I am divided between this goal and others, like making money.
On the other hand, God is One. I have been reweaving my life into a unitary fabric that has variations in color and pattern. ASking my question feels like I am on a perpetual easter egg hunt, vigilent for the trail of energy towards my next joyous discovery wherein I rejoice in wonder and awe. I feel I have fallen yet again for the hype of the marketplace that tells me what is good for me and convinces me I want something that will later be taken for granted. I am chasing the carrot dangling from the stick that is always just a little out of my reach.
Somewhere in here, it seems that I "should" be able to do both, stay in the joy of the moment and reach towards S.M.A.R.T. goals. Right now, it is one or the other. In one sense, using why I love my life so much as a theme allows my day to day discoveries to arise anywhere in my life while I am still holding my end result of loving my life as the guiding goal or intent, but the script is short on pre-conceived notions and prescribed behavior.
I still think I would prefer being more trim and fit. I'm open to inspired action arising in this arena. I think I will focus my attention on the miracle of my body and life when I exercise instead of the shape I am hoping for. I may well land in the same place as if I persued that goal in particular. For now I am back to my focus of why I love my life so much hoping that I am not selling out my goal to stay in a comfort zone.
If I were scoring, I would need to count my joy at the end of each day. If I stay present and vigilent to the energies about me in the moment my question gets a point. If I feel I wasted the day and have nothing to show for it in aliveness, then maybe I should go back to SMART goals.
posted by Patricia @ 7:50 PM
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