On Letting....
The more I focus on why I love my life, the more I notice when I let things come to me. I let someone help me on the farm, I let in new clients, I am letting myself find a better way of eating.
One shift happened with the book by Jason Shulman, "The Instruction Manual for recieving God". I was inspired to let God in. This stands in contrast to my prior efforts of trying to be good enough for an audience with God at some later date. In letting I became a vessel with an open lid. Guilt was no longer a factor especially in regards to goal setting.
Guilt instead became stronger and more dibilitating in the area of eating and exercising which was where I had set that short term goal for a time. Enter another book, "Intuitive Eating", which is anti-diet. Instead of depriving myself, slipping, guilting and gorging I am learning to develop and trust my own hunger signals. This boook helped me see the parallels between this and goal setting, failing and resisting or refusing. Same pattern.
My homeopath suggested it is not goal setting per se that is my problem but rather the pattern that kicks into place when I set a goal. I am watching this point. I am also watching to see where guilt moves to next. I plug one guilt hole and another becomes evident. I wonder how many arenas guilt will pop up before I realize I have reprogrammed that defualt switch?
Learning about myself is one of the ways I am finding that I love my life so much.
Letting works better than guilting.
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