Why is this question working?
I am not under the illusion that the question of why I love my life so much keeps me in a "pleasure mode." The expectation fostered by this question does put me on the look out for more things that do give me pleasure. It also directs my attention to areas of my life that need work in order to love my life more. It doesn't take away pain but it does seem to allow more resourceful past experiences to guide present day decisions than before. I am experiencing everything more acutely as my senses come off automatic pilot.
I have starting seeing arenas of my life call to me as if they have a halo around them. It is something that says look here and take some action. Yesterday it was my relationship that got my attention and we spoke about the lack of "Togetherness". It was more like we were running parallel lives out of the same living space. So we made a plan to turn the computers off certain evening hours and spend that time with each other. That will either take us closer to where we want to go or it won't and then we will choose again. We'll see how this unfolds. I suspect that if we did not take action now while the discomfort is relatively minor that the relationship would grow a great deal more painful until it demanded attention on a large scale.
It could well be that what I experience as the power of this question in my life is actually the result of all three decisions:
1. to focus on Why I love my life so much,
2. to observe the effects of this focus on both me and others and
3. to sit still-do nothing time which allows me to listen to myself better.
Certainly the specific thematic question makes a difference. One friend told me today he has a similar single pointed focus around his relationship. Every morning he asks what can he do today to make his love happy and every night he asks if he has done enough. It certainly creates an intense and passionate relationship. I have also witnessed profound pain when the relationship doesn't seem to live up to his ideal. What would shift if he worded his question a little differently?
I currently count my life as better than ever I can remember and I am making more subjective progress towards prior goals than I made when I was focused on them. Time will tell how well I persist on this quest and what the fruit will be.
What is your theme question? How is it playing out? Does the question need tweaking a bit to optimize your outcome?
I have starting seeing arenas of my life call to me as if they have a halo around them. It is something that says look here and take some action. Yesterday it was my relationship that got my attention and we spoke about the lack of "Togetherness". It was more like we were running parallel lives out of the same living space. So we made a plan to turn the computers off certain evening hours and spend that time with each other. That will either take us closer to where we want to go or it won't and then we will choose again. We'll see how this unfolds. I suspect that if we did not take action now while the discomfort is relatively minor that the relationship would grow a great deal more painful until it demanded attention on a large scale.
It could well be that what I experience as the power of this question in my life is actually the result of all three decisions:
1. to focus on Why I love my life so much,
2. to observe the effects of this focus on both me and others and
3. to sit still-do nothing time which allows me to listen to myself better.
Certainly the specific thematic question makes a difference. One friend told me today he has a similar single pointed focus around his relationship. Every morning he asks what can he do today to make his love happy and every night he asks if he has done enough. It certainly creates an intense and passionate relationship. I have also witnessed profound pain when the relationship doesn't seem to live up to his ideal. What would shift if he worded his question a little differently?
I currently count my life as better than ever I can remember and I am making more subjective progress towards prior goals than I made when I was focused on them. Time will tell how well I persist on this quest and what the fruit will be.
What is your theme question? How is it playing out? Does the question need tweaking a bit to optimize your outcome?
posted by Patricia @ 12:25 PM
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