Glowing
What does it mean to glow in the sense of choosing to glow at will. I know there are times I associate with glowing like parents at the time of a birth. Maybe it is the flush one gets after a success following long effort. Is it a radiation of love and peace? I wish it for everyone.
In recent days I have read many glowing tributes to a colleague who passed away abruptly. I knew of him and had met him. He and his wife were active in the broader community. He is worthy of the tribute.
This death draws my attention back to the other deaths this year of men close to me. It gets me to thinking about my own death. I recently read Gloria Page's account of some women being given tombstone shaped paper. On the front each wrote her own epitaph according to what other people would say about her. On the other side each wrote what she wished others would say about her. Very interesting.
My mother died when I was 19. That event probably shaped me more than I care to imagine. No one else close to me died until this year,36 years later. I developed a pragmatic and functional view of death in my aloof kind of way. I had little use for funerals. Didn't plan on having one myself. After all, I'm gone.
My involvement with my dad's funeral was transformative for me. Even though I had worked at healing my relationship with him, much healing happened in preparing for and speaking at the funeral. It was important to attend my martial art instructor's funeral. I am thinking my feelings about my own funeral were colored by feeling who would come, how would people know that I had died. My communities are diverse and often distant. Often I lurk instead of participate. It brings me back to the value of communication I spoke of in the last post. What would people say? What do I want them to say? How do I need to let people in in order for people to feel that about me?
Often people don't know how they touch my life. I doubt I realize how I touch the lives of others. What would it be like to really let them know and would they hear that sentiment from me? Somehow I would like to think people's lights would glow a little brighter from having come in contact with me. I now would like people to know that my light glows a little brighter because of who they are and how they touch me now. Why does my life-light glow as much as it does? Because of you.
In recent days I have read many glowing tributes to a colleague who passed away abruptly. I knew of him and had met him. He and his wife were active in the broader community. He is worthy of the tribute.
This death draws my attention back to the other deaths this year of men close to me. It gets me to thinking about my own death. I recently read Gloria Page's account of some women being given tombstone shaped paper. On the front each wrote her own epitaph according to what other people would say about her. On the other side each wrote what she wished others would say about her. Very interesting.
My mother died when I was 19. That event probably shaped me more than I care to imagine. No one else close to me died until this year,36 years later. I developed a pragmatic and functional view of death in my aloof kind of way. I had little use for funerals. Didn't plan on having one myself. After all, I'm gone.
My involvement with my dad's funeral was transformative for me. Even though I had worked at healing my relationship with him, much healing happened in preparing for and speaking at the funeral. It was important to attend my martial art instructor's funeral. I am thinking my feelings about my own funeral were colored by feeling who would come, how would people know that I had died. My communities are diverse and often distant. Often I lurk instead of participate. It brings me back to the value of communication I spoke of in the last post. What would people say? What do I want them to say? How do I need to let people in in order for people to feel that about me?
Often people don't know how they touch my life. I doubt I realize how I touch the lives of others. What would it be like to really let them know and would they hear that sentiment from me? Somehow I would like to think people's lights would glow a little brighter from having come in contact with me. I now would like people to know that my light glows a little brighter because of who they are and how they touch me now. Why does my life-light glow as much as it does? Because of you.
posted by Patricia @ 10:36 PM
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