Comfort Foods 101

I don't understand why comfort foods are things like ice cream bars instead of the zucchini I just harvested from my garden. Ever since I heard of my friends death, I cry and want to eat comfort foods. I even went to the store to get ice cram bars, all I could eat and then some. And tonight I am planning on goulash. Not that that is sooooo bad but I have barely been eating wheat for some time now. So the noodles open a dangerous door called white flour.

Experience tells me white flour and ice cream bars do in fact make me feel bad. It is like I am trying to make my body feel as bad as my feelings do. I also know eating this kind of comfort food will make me feel irritable and depressed on Wednesday. Not today. Today the sugar will give me a rush and keep me going for a time. Tomorrow I will crave more and Wednesday, I might as well join the roller derby as I will be like a bitch on wheels.

Knowing better is not enough to make better choices. I have taken the dogs for a walk around the pond, called a couple of friends, and written condolence letters.
I am not under the illusion that ice cream and wheat can fill the hole inside from my loss. I have been telling myself that "this too is for the best" but I don't believe it yet. Actually I have been out of touch with my friends for a month now. I don't know what was happening in his life; I only know he wasn't working out with me.

My sister wrote about participating in some swimming competitions with ladies older than herself. One is 80 and just learning to swim. I have been thinking about getting back to the pool. That should serve as an inspiration. I also signed up to submit some artwork and my turkey jerky to the state fair. I will dedicate one of the art projects to John.

I still feel sad to my bone marrow but please, don't offer me another ice ceam bar. I have had enough for now. Creating will be a better salve than food oblivion.